History as we know it.

In 1518, Spain, in an effort to increase Catholic influence in France, created a fleet of boars, the fastest and most common battle ship at the time, and sent them to the shores of Paris. There, they attacked with mighty vigilance the Eiffel Tower, causing the Muslims to flee to Africa. In Africa, the Muslims created an alliance with Germany, promising to reunite everyone in Belgium with their German families, after being abducted by the Christians. The English, in light of this alliance, sailed to the Netherlands and stole all of the African’s cows that the Dutch had traded for Blood Diamonds back in 1340. In response to this, the Netherlands nuked Canada, as to scare the feeble United States, and to force England into returning their cows. They needed their cows back to supply the Spanish with great wards of food, so that Spain could win the Thirty Years War, which they found out about when they created the fastest boar on the ocean. The boar was so fast that it enabled them to go into the future, where the saw the Spanish being crushed in the Thirty Years war by the African Jews, who were using American slaves to fight for them.  With this new found knowledge, the Dutch black mailed the Mexicans into helping them Conquer Greenland but because of the Alliance of Alpaca, signed in 1350 between the Mexicans and the French, the French had to come and fight on the side of the Russians against the Dutch. This resulted in the Great War of Threat that lasted for 5.6 years. The war ended with the Treaty of the Dutch, signed by France, Mexico and Russia, splitting Greenland into forty-two states, all of equal sovereignty and ruled by the Kings of Sweden. Sweden, un-aware that this war was happening, was caught off guard when told that it had to supply forty-two kings to govern Greenland. As this number was greater than the entire population of Sweden, the Swedish Czar sent troops to China, to round up slaves to govern Greenland. China, being a mighty superpower, was able to ward off all Swedish attempts to collect slaves, so they went to Peru instead. Because of the massive amount of Ukrainian influence in Peru, the people of Peru were easily persuaded by the Swedes, and put up no fight. On their way back from Peru, the Swedish ships noticed the lack of human life in Canada, due to its skirmish with the Netherlands, and decided to place claim on the land. This angered the Mongolians, who were in the process of making plans for the Canadian land mass. Their anger was so intense that they called upon the people of Haiti to teach them Voodoo, and they set fire to the entire Spanish continent. Realizing that their actual target was Sweden, the Mongolians were so embarrassed that they evacuated their country and fled to Alaska. Russia, realizing the lack of movement in Mongolia annexed the Mongolian land mass, and became the world’s second largest country. Their new size gave the Russians the confidence to invade South Africa, something they had been meaning to do, but had never gotten around to it. This invasion scared the Muslims, who created an alliance with the Jews, and forged an attack on Canada, not realizing that it now belonged to Sweden.  As a colony of Sweden, Greenland was obliged to help out the non-existent Canadian-Swedes, by sending in their newly crafted fleet of Boar ships. Surrounding the entire coast of Canada, these ships created what was known as the Green Armada, and were able to successfully keep the Muslim-Jew navy away from the actual shores of Canada. This Armada was extremely beneficial to the Greenland economy, as it employed 100% of the population. Australia, feeling bored, decided to test out its new nuclear weapons by aiming them at Romania, but fortunately they slightly missed and only hit the North-western corner of the country, sparing 1/3 of the country’s population. This attack left a giant dent in central Europe, one in which the people from once-Mongolia decided to inhabit. They called their newly inhabited dent, Hungary. In an attempt to start up their economy, they created strong trade unions with the United States. Austria, taking offence to these trade unions, declared war on Germany thus, marking the beginning of World War One.